That’s not even a choice

via Bobby Jean on FB

bobby jean

 

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She gets it

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My wife thinks I’m crazy, and I understand that. But she gets why I’m crazy for Bruce.

There have been periods, especially in the first years we met, in which I only listened to Bruce, for whole days. And if there was an article or a program on radio or Tv in which they talked about him, I was like almost in trance. After a while she began to appreciate some of his music, she also bought a cd, 18 tracks, I was so sure she was making a gift to me, yet she bought it to keep it for her. When he was touring for Tom Joad there was a TV show on him, me and her we did not live together, we did not even live in the same town, and we both saw the show. Then at the end she sent me a message, which said “But he’s just like you, when you play” that was not meant to say I looked like Bruce physically, not even in the look, she just meant he was my landmark in music, him and all the music he brought with him, all the roots I desperately tried to make mine while listening to his and his fathers’ songs.

Anyway even understanding that she remained in the resolute believing that my obsession for the Man was bordering on crazyness (hey, I never denied that).

She had a turn on her point of view during a show (I know, it’s always like this). It was a date on the Devils and Dust tour: she remained astounded for days, after the show. That voice, that presence on stage, a whole arena silent in participation… I remember during Long Time Coming, at the second or third verse Bruce stopped, took a step back getting away from the mic, looked at the people, barely a touch for the note on the acoustic guitar, and kept singing almost without accompaniment. The whole place was silent, and he was there just barely singing, talking to us, just his presence kept us together and still. He was talking to each and everyone of us, it was irreal and tremendously powerful.

At the end of the show she did not say much, but I knew she had understood. On the way home she juts said Now I get it, why you love him so much.

And during the years, well, she never reached my crazyness, and that’s ok, more than ok for me, but when the dates of the tour come out she is always Ok, we gotta prepare. What are you waiting for? What about the tickets?
She gets it, now.

 

 

Live and let live

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So, what does your partner think of your passion for Bruce?

Him: Well, I asked her. Listen dear, I have to write some answers on a Bruce quest…

Her: OOOOH Holy Moly, not again! I know you!

Him: No, really, it’s like an interview, but they wanna know the “partner” point of view in all this…

Her: Oh yeah? Ok. You can write this: my opinion on other people’s life and passions it’s: Live and let live!

Him: So, really, she doesn’t care. She knows, though, that if Someone from New Jersey calls, I have to go. Besides, I really prefer to travel light, for the show, if you know what I mean.

She really likes Point Blank. The original in The River’s version, not the live one. She doesn’t like the live because he doesn’t sing, but mostly speaks.

And in any case, I’ll drive all night just to buy her a new pair of shoes. I just love her.

 

Wear my ring (around your neck)

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I’ve always asked myself how it would have been to have a girlfriend who shared my same passion for Bruce. I would have seen more shows, for sure. And of course I would have spent twice as much money.
Sometimes I think that maybe if you share everything with your partner, in a way that passion becomes less special, ’cause it’s not just yours anymore. Probably you have to find middle ground, in this like in everything else in a relationship.
Truth is, in my story, my wife doesn’t like Bruce, and, more important, she has never acknowledged my passion. She understands that you can like music, that you can buy records and go to shows… well, to “a” show, as in ONE. But for her it ends here. She thinks of music as simply something you turn on the radio and listen to, no matter what it’s on. The idea that a singer and his songs can change you or your life is an abstruse concept, for her. And that’s not the important part, you know: the saddest thing is
that she doesn’t understand that if it’s really important to me, you don’t have to question. You don’t have to say You’re almost 40 for Christ’s sake grow up.
I do the home chores, I work, pay the bills, care for my children and parents. I have also a strong passion for soccer, so I go to the stadium on Sundays, but mostly I stay home with my family. So if once or twice in a tour year I want to travel and see Bruce ’cause he’s not playing in my hometown, I’d like to go without the spanish inquisition.
I know she doesn’t understand why I’m doing this. But I’d really like for her to accept it because Bruce is important to me, because he’s the reason why I am who I am. He has been in my life for… well, all of my life. Sad moments, great moments, he has always been there.
So maybe is just that she’s jealous, in a way. I really hope for the next tour she’ll come around. And anyway, I’ll keep trying to make her understand. ‘Cause that’s what it’s all about in a relationship: you don’t give up.